


Payback's a Bitch

by Desbelleschoses



Series: Roomates from Hell [9]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Because Sasori and Deidara can't DTR, Deidara gets petty, M/M, No one knows how to be in a relationship, Porn With Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-23 13:13:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13788474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Desbelleschoses/pseuds/Desbelleschoses
Summary: Deidara saw Sasori leaving a bar with another man, and he's regretting not being clearer about their relationship. Hidan suggests that he gets petty and goes along for the ride.





	Payback's a Bitch

Deidara leaned into his elbows and cocked one hip to the side, shifting his weight so that he could be more comfortable. The kitchen sink was plugged and full of dirty water, from which he’d pull a sculpting tool for meticulous cleaning every minute or so. One of his wire wheels was giving him trouble, and he tried to coax the hardened clay off without cutting himself. He didn't need any more scrapes on his fingertips. In his back pocket, his phone vibrated. His gnawed fingernails continued to pick between the small metal teeth. His phone vibrated again. 

He heard footsteps behind him and the unmistakable sound of the fridge opening. “Why do we never have any fucking food?” his roommate complained, clearly irritated.

“We're broke,” Deidara began to list, “we’re never home, and when we are home we order out.” He looked over his shoulder at Hidan. “That's why.”

“That's crap.”

Deidara holds out both hands as he shrugs, still leaning against the sink. “And what do you expect me to do about it, hn? You're a grown-ass adult. Go to the store.”

“Nah.” Deidara felt his eyebrow twitch. His phone vibrated in his pocket again, and Hidan shamelessly pulled it away and illuminated the screen. “Who the fuck is middle-finger-emoji and why do they want to know what you're doing?” Hidan jumped up to sit on the kitchen counter, on the other side of the cloth where Deidara’s tools were drying.

“It's Sasori,” Deidara informed him, going back to picking away at dried clay. Finished with that particular utensil, he rinsed it before letting it rest on the cloth. His hands dove back under the water and groped blindly for another. “Fuck if I know what he wants, hn.”

Hidan shamelessly slid his finger across the screen and read aloud, “4:45, You weren't in Studio. 4:46, You ok?” He looked up from the screen. “Aww, he's worried about you, Princess.” He grinned, but Deidara didn't look his way. “5:05, Are you coming over tonight? 5:08, It’s cool if not just lmk. 5:10, Are you still mad at me or something?” He let out a low whistle. “Trouble in paradise?”

“It's none of your business,” Deidara grumbled as he rinsed off another tool. “And stop reading my texts already.”

“How else am I supposed to know you and Van Gogh had a fight?” Hidan scrolled back up the text chain, looking for any messages that would give him a clue.

“Dammit, Hidan, give me that.” Deidara snatched his phone away and put it back in his pocket, smearing his pants with clay. There was a certain look in his eyes when he refocused on the task at hand that made Hidan pause.

“Princess?” Hidan waited for a response that never came. “What the fuck’d he do?”

Deidara scraped his fingernails down the wooden handle of his instrument, raking it clean. After a few seconds, he threw it back down into the water. “Fucker asks me if I'm still mad. Go to hell! Asshole!”

“Whoa there,” Hidan jumped down from the counter and physically spun Deidara to face him. “Easy!” He was met with watery blue eyes, which Deidara tired to blink away. That only made them gather on his eyelashes. “What happened?”

Deidara shrugged him off and pulled the rest of his tools from the water, cleaning them with much less precision. “Nothing, hn. It's stupid.”

Hidan reached over and took one of the wooden scrapers, working the clay off with his fingers. Deidara said nothing. It wasn't until Hidan rinsed it clean that he tried again. “Princess?”

Deidara inspected a toothed comb closely, avoiding his gaze. “I assumed we were exclusive. Apparently we never had that conversation.” His voice wavered, but from sadness or anger, Hidan couldn't tell. It was a moment before he decided to continue. “I saw him walk out of a bar with some fucking muscle-headed freak.” His lips twisted down into a scowl. He resisted the urge to throw his utensil, setting it down carefully instead. “Looks like I'm not his type.”

“I'm gonna fucking kill him.”

“No, you're not, hn.” 

“Watch me.”

“Hidan. Stop. I told you, it's not that big a deal.”

“Like hell.”

“Dammit, Hidan, just fucking stop!” The sound of Deidara slamming his fists against the counter echoed in the small kitchen. The blonde snatched a rag from one of the cabinet doors and stormed off, drying his hands as he went. The door to his bedroom closed with enough force to shake the wall.

Hidan took a second to dry off the rest of Deidara’s tools before approaching his bedroom. “C’mon, Sunshine, open up.” He knocked, but there was no response. He tried the knob, but it was locked. “Princess! I'm not fucking playing!”

“Leave me alone!” Deidara’s shout sounded muffled. 

“Open the damn door or I'm opening it for you,” Hidan threatened. His fingers danced on top of the door, looking for the skeleton key he knew was there. Before he had a chance to use it, the lock clicked and Deidara opened the door. His makeup was running, staining his cheeks where he’d wiped them. Hidan was gripping the door frame, leaning into the space he'd been allowed when it opened. 

Deidara took a step back, hesitating before turning around. His feet carried him back to his bed, where he threw himself face-down. “Happy?” came his muffled retort.

Hidan walked around to the other side and sat down on the bright comforter. He wasn't good in situations like this. Trying to make him a little more comfortable, he leaned into his side and began to remove the tie from his hair. Deidara didn't resist. When he succeeded, he ran his fingers through it a few times to get rid of the kinks. To his surprise, Deidara had visibly relaxed. He could still hear the odd sniffle, but he chose not to say anything.

Finally, Deidara rolled over onto his side, letting his cheek rest on Hidan’s thigh. “I'm so stupid.”

“Last I checked, you're one of the brainiest people I know.”

“You know a bunch of idiots.”

“Debatable.” Hidan leaned back against the headboard and continued to run his fingers through Deidara’s hair. Damn, it was soft. 

“Why did I even think he'd want to be exclusive? We never talked about it. It just wasn't something I thought I needed to ask. God, I'm such a fucking idiot.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“The hell did you just say to me?!” Deidara draws back his fist and punches Hidan’s thigh where he'd stabbed him with a pocket knife the week before. 

“Fuck! You little shit!” Hidan pulled his leg up and rubbed the stinging skin. “Damn!”

“I know you didn't just tell me to ‘shut the fuck up,’ hn!” Deidara was in his face, but it was hard to look threatening with running mascara.

“I'm trying to tell you you're wrong, you crazy little bitch!”

Impulse control had never been Hidan’s strong suit. He didn’t think before his arms reached out, grabbing his roommate by the back of the head and neck and pulled him forward, crashing his lips against his. His fingers curled into blonde hair, holding him there as long as he pleased. When he was through, he used the same hold to pull Deidara’s head back.   
“Better?” he demanded.

“What the fuck was that?!” Deidara shrieked in indignation. 

“Are you ready to listen?” Hidan arched an eyebrow.

Deidara tore himself away. “Oh, you’d better have a damned good reason-”

“Quit bashing yourself!” Hidan narrowed his eyes. “If I hear you say you’re stupid one more-” he cut himself off, holding up one hand. “You’re not stupid. He’s a douchebag.”

“Yeah, well, you have to say that, don’t you?” Deidara sneered in self-deprecation. 

“No, I don’t. And you know it, Princess. If I thought you were wrong, I’d fucking say it, wouldn’t I?” Silence hung heavy in the air between them. Hidan rubbed his face with both hands and sighed. “Okay. I shouldn’t’ve done that. It’s my bad. But, I just… fuck, why do you get ike this?”

Deidara sank back to sit on his heels, looking at him with wide eyes. 

Hidan didn’t give him a chance to interrupt. “You’re just this angry little ball of self-loathing! And you don’t let anybody help! Do you know how that pisses me off?! For the love of Jashin, Princess, get the stick out of your ass! Okay?!” He looked at Deidara, whose eyes were watering again. “And now I’ve made you cry. Awesome.” He threw his hands into the air. 

He took a deep breath, surprised to see that Deidara was still watching him. “Look. Go clean your face, and imma order us a pizza and we can just watch shitty movies. Ok?”

“Okay.” Deidara sniffed and stood up from the bed.

“Phone.”

“What?”

“Gimme your phone.” Hidan had his hand out for it. “I know you. You're gonna look at it all night and mope. Gimme the damn phone.”

Deidara fished it out of his pocket and tossed it to Hidan before closing his bathroom door. 

Hidan sat on the bed for a moment longer, turning Deidara’s phone over in his hands. He had half a mind to put Sasori in his place, but he was on thin ice as it is. Resisting the temptation, he put Deidara’s phone in his pocket and took out his phone. A few taps on his screen, and he managed to order the pizza online. He’d only just grabbed the remote off of the bedside table when Deidara opened the bathroom door again.

His face was wiped clean, all his makeup scrubbed away with a floral-scented toner. His eyes were red and puffy, easier to see now that there was nothing covering them. He eyed Hidan with reluctance until the man reached out to pat the mattress beside him. A few steps, and Deidara settled down on his bed, pulling the throw blanket up from the foot and covering himself with it. He didn’t speak, choosing to watch Hidan scroll through the channels. After a moment, he suggested, “Turn on Netflix.”

“How?” Hidan looked at the remote in his hand.

“It’s the other one. The skinny thing.” Deidara pointed at his bedside table, but he didn’t gesture very specifically. Hidan figured it out and hit the power button. The black box beside the tv came to life with a chime. He tried to hand it to Deidara, who shook his head. “I don’t care what it is.”

Hidan scrolled through Deidara’s queue and hit play on something that looked hopeful. He settled back against the headboard and crossed his legs at the ankles, his hands behind his head. Deidara’s phone buzzed in his pocket, and he caught the blonde’s gaze. “Not happening, Sunshine.”

Deidara just huffed and looked back to the television. He desperately wanted to check his phone, but he won’t get it from Hidan that easily. 

“Why do you care?”

“Hn?” Deidara looked back up at Hidan, who was watching the opening credits like they’re the most interesting thing he’s ever seen.

“Why do you give a fuck about Shirley Temple, anyway?” Hidan repeated himself. “The guy’s a prick, if you ask me. You can do a helluva lot better than a creepy, ginger doll.”

“I…” Deidara trailed off. “Why do you even care?”

“Like it or not, you’re stuck with me. You signed the lease,” Hidan reminded him. “I care because I’m your friend, dumbass. Seriously? ‘Why do I care’? Please.” He snorted in derision. “I trashed an art studio for you, and you want to know why I’m worried about your little boyfriend? Damn. I get no fucking credit around here.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Deidara muttered into the blanket.

“What’s that?”

“I said he’s not my boyfriend. Well, apparently he isn’t, if he’s walking around with other guys. He said he didn’t want a label. So, no, he’s not my boyfriend, hn.”

“You sound pissed.”

“Because I am!” Deidara pulled the blanket up over his head. Hidan wrestled with him for a moment before succeeding in pulling it back down. “Leave me alone, zealot!”

“Not likely.” Hidan narrowed his eyes at his roommate. “Jashin, you’re the biggest fucking drama queen I’ve ever met. You know that? Damn.” He threw his hands into the air before falling back. “Holy shit. It’s simple, Sunshine. Shirley Temple wants to fuck other guys, fine. You’ve got a free pass to do the same damned thing.”

“What’re you saying, hn?”

“Get petty, Princess. It’s what you do best.” Hidan snorted. “Hell, it’s what I do. You don’t really think Kakuzu and I are exclusive, do you? Where’s the fun in that shit? We’re young. Fuck commitment. Settle down when we’re old, you know?”

“I’m not you, Hidan.”

“Yeah, and a good thing, too. I wouldn’t be able to room with me.” He was looking for a laugh, a smile, something.

“I can’t room with you,” Deidara muttered. He arched an eyebrow when Hidan laughed at his comment. He seemed to find it genuinely funny, and Deidara couldn’t help but crack a small grin. The doorbell rang, and Hidan stood up to answer it. When he returned, it was with a large pizza in hand. He dropped it into Deidara’s lap. When Deidara opened it, he asked, “I thought you hated cheese.”

“Eh. I can deal. You’re the freak who won’t eat anything else.” Hidan reached over and pulled apart a slice for himself. The movie began to play on Deidara’s crappy television, adding background noise to the silence they fell into while eating. Every so often, Deidara would look over at Hidan, who was hooked within the first five minutes.

Hidan laughed and pointed at the screen when ‘Summer Lovin’ began to play. “That’s our Halloween costume this year, Princess! You’ll be a prettier Sandy, though.”

“You’re telling me you want to do Grease as a Halloween theme.”

“Fuck yeah! Come on, we’ve gotta have everything we need in our closets. Besides, I’d kill to see you in a pair of black leather pants.”

He had humor in his voice, but Deidara knew that he was at least partially serious. Deidara sat up and folded the top of the pizza box back down before setting it on the ground. Hidan glanced over at him, but before he could ask, Deidara was straddling his hips and sitting on his lap.

“Whoa, there, Sunshine.” Hidan sat up a little straighter. “The hell are you doing?”

“What?” Deidara challenged. “I’m taking your advice, hn. And you’re the one who kissed me.”

“Yeah. I’m me.” Hidan gestured at himself. “I’ve harassed you enough times that you could put me in jail.”

Deidara’s fists found the front of Hidan’s shirt and pulled him forward. “I’m doing this, either with you or someone else. I think we’d both want it to be you.” He ground his hips down against Hidan’s. “So fuck me or get out.”

“Okay,” Hidan decided, grinning at him lecherously. The eagerness with which he tore Deidara’s shirt from his body surprised the blonde, but it really shouldn’t have. His hands gripped Deidara’s hips hard enough to bruise as he flipped them over, pressing Deidara’s back into the mattress. Hidan sat up on his knees and pulled his shirt over his head. “Just remember, Princess, you fuckin’ asked for it.”

Deidara gasped when Hidan bit down on his shoulder. Before he could react, he could feel his tongue running over the stinging flesh, soothing the ache in a way that made him shudder. Hidan arched over him as his hands pulled at the waistband of his pants, forcing them down Deidara’s thighs and leaving him completely exposed. Hidan pulled back to rid him of them entirely, and he licked his lips as he took Deidara’s form in.

Hidan heaved a shaky breath when he swore, “Princess, I’m going to wreck you.”

Deidara clawed at the sheets when Hidan bent back down and lifted one of his thighs. He took his time as he nipped and sucked at the skin on the inside of his thigh, sending shivers down Deidara’s spine. By the time Hidan’s mouth reached the juncture of his hip, Deidara was shamefully hard, and Hidan had no intention of letting this fact go. Just to be cruel, he drug his tongue from base to tip in a single stroke, reveling in the high-pitched whine Deidara gave.

“Easy,” Hidan chided with a smirk. “I’m nowhere near done with you, yet.” He leaned forward so that he could open Deidara’s bedside drawer, intending to find the bottle of lube he assumed would be there. He shifted his weight so that he could get a better look, and he let out a low whistle. “What have we here? Princess, you didn’t tell me you were kinky.”

Deidara looked up at the metal handcuffs Hidan dangled above his face, hanging from a single finger. “Hands up, Sunshine,” Hidan growled. Deidara hated himself for obeying so readily. One wrist, and then the other, was captured by the metal, and his arms were shoved back up over his head.

“Don’t move them,” Hidan ordered, trying to give an intimidating glare, but the look was ruined by his heavily-lidded lust. Deidara nodded. The silver-haired man continued rifling through the drawer, finding much more than he anticipated. He made a mental note to use most of it later on, because, at this point, he planned to make damned sure there was going to be a later on. At least, now he knew his roommate wasn’t as inexperienced as he’d thought. This opened up a whole realm of possibilities.

His fingers closed around the bottle, and he knocked the drawer shut. Turning his attention back to Deidara, he saw that the blonde hadn’t broken his instructions. A wicked smirk tore across his lips. “Good boy.”

Deidara swallowed thickly as he watched Hidan’s fingers pull off his own pants, and he took in a sharp breath of anticipation when he was finally able to see him in his entirety. Hidan was hot. Objectively, he knew this, but he’d never gotten such an intimate view of him before. He was torn from his thoughts when Hidan chuckled.

“Like what you see?”

“Yes,” Deidara answered truthfully, moving with the mattress as it dipped below Hidan’s weight.

“Damned right you do.” Hidan wrapped his hand around him and gave a pointed tug, causing Deidara to cry out and cant his hips upward. The touch was gone all too soon when Hidan took his hand away, coating his fingers liberally in the lubricant he’d pulled from the drawer. He isn’t gentle when he pushes his finger inside of Deidara, and he isn’t patient, either. Some part of Deidara felt like he should care about that, for some reason.

When Hidan curled his finger just right, brushing the sensitive bundle of nerves inside of him, Deidara forgot how to speak entirely.

“How’s that, baby?” Hidan purred, striking up a rhythm in his movements. Deidara just moaned and tightened his grasp on the pillow beneath his head. Out of a desire to hear that sound again, Hidan pulled his finger back before jamming it forward, clenching his jaw when he felt Deidara tighten around him and heard him gasp.

When he added a second finger, he started to play with himself.

Deidara looked up at him with wide, blue eyes, gaze darting from his face to his hand and back again. He dug his heels into the mattress and lifted his hips, giving Hidan a better angle and himself a little more pleasure from the contact. “Fuck,” he gasped. “Hidan…”

“That’s right, Princess. You’re going to be screaming my name when I’m done fucking you.” Hidan began to scissor his fingers open and closed, pulling a desperate whine from Deidara. His grip around himself tightened in response. Deidara rolled his hips.

“Please,” Deidara begged, and his cheeks blushed red in shame when he realized what he’d just said. Hidan didn’t laugh like he expected him to. Rather, the larger man took his hand off of himself and planted it on the back of Deidara’s thigh, forcing it up and back.

“You want to wait a little more, baby. Trust me.”

“No, I don’t,” Deidara snapped. “Just fuck me already, asshole!”

“It’s gonna hurt like a bitch.”

“I don’t care, hn!”

Hidan gave one last thrust of his fingers before removing them, leaving Deidara wanting more. “Condom?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Princess…”

“I said don’t fucking worry about it! I’m clean, I know you’re clean, just fuck me already!”

“Remind me to gag you next time.” Nevertheless, Hidan obliged, well aware that Deidra wouldn’t lie about this; Hidan himself had come home bragging about his test results after a brief scare just a week ago. 

After coating himself generously, hoping that it would keep Deidara from complaining too much, Hidan lined himself up and took his time pushing himself inside. Deidara gasped and moaned, but he didn’t look like he was in too much pain. When Hidan bottomed out, he waited for a few seconds, intending to give him time to adjust. 

Deidara let out a broken sob of “Move already, goddammit!” 

“Your funeral,” Hidan warned, but he grabbed Deidara by the hips and slammed into him, pulling a shout from the blonde. So, his roommate had a bit of a masochistic side along with his penchant for handcuffs. Things were getting interesting, and they were falling right into Hidan’s alley. He picked up his pace, driving himself in deep with each thrust as he watched Deidara come undone beneath him.

Deidara began to find his rhythm, and he moaned shamelessly when he managed to find the perfect angle. The sounds Deidara made were almost enough to drive Hidan into oblivion. He cried out along with him, unable to sustain his pace without nearing the edge. Deidara was warm and tight and sounds so fucking wonderful. Hidan gave a sharp thrust for his own gratification. 

The blonde let his head fall back against the mattress and moaned unabashedly at the thrilling contact. "Fuck, Hidan. Don't stop." He was so close, and he couldn't lose this high. Not now. His cheeks were flushed red as he moaned, watching Hidan move above him. He cried out as his body convulsed, coating his stomach with cum as he clamped down around Hidan.

Deidara was so tight around him, and he was such a beautiful sight that Hidan couldn't keep up. The shout alone drove him insane, and he could hardly hold himself back long enough to ride Deidara through his orgasm. The instant he felt his partner relax, he allowed himself to let go. He muffled his cry into his fist, sinking his teeth into the skin as his body shook from the intensity of it all. Finally, he was left panting as his vision refocused.

“Holy Jashin, Princess,” Hidan gasped as he collapsed on top of Deidara. “That was fucking fantastic. Damn.” He laughed against Deidara’s shoulder. The blonde beat him lightly with his cuffed fists.

“Get off of me, you son of a bitch, and let me out.”

Hidan hummed to himself. “No.”

“What the fuck do you mean, no?!”

Hidan slipped out of him and leaned back, letting his eyes wander Deidara’s naked form. A violent bruise had started to form on his shoulder, and he had the impulse to cover much more of his skin the same way. “What makes you think I'm even close to done with you?”

Deidara closed his mouth, drawing a blank in his repertoire of comebacks. He looked almost afraid, but the lust in his eyes drowned out the fear. He bears his teeth in a dangerous grin.

“What are you waiting for?”


End file.
